I Hate Snakes

A post over at Rocks in My Dryer reminded me of my hatred for snakes.

I hate snakes. I've never touched a snake. I never want to touch a snake. If I do touch a snake I hope I die so I don't have to remember it.

I know it's irrational. I've been told they're not slimey....and that they're really quite nice.

I don't care. I hate rates and I don't want to get over it. I tried to not show this fear to my children because I didn't want them knowing they could scare me with snakes...but they've seen right through that facade.

So, while my kids were at Grandma Camp they'd call often to let us know they were still alive. Once day Jill, with an excited lilt in her voice, told me that she got a pet snake. My response was that that was nice, but what was Grandma going to do with it when you leave? She told me she was bringing it home and I calmly and confidently told her she wasn't. She could decide...it's home or it's the snake...but never both. I told her I didn't believe her anyway because I knew Grandma would never buy a snake. She quickly replied that Grandma didn't buy it, Papa did. She had a comeback for everything I said....and while I was pretty sure Papa would never buy my kids a snake...my confidence was waning. Even when we went and picked them up it was in the back of my mind. But we didn't have anymore snake conversations so I relaxed.

Bad move.

Sunday morning I go to get in the shower. I didn't have much time because we had all slept in so long we were late for church. I hurriedly change and open up the shower door and WHAM!!! There's this huge snake coming up out of the drain pipe in our shower.

I knew it wasn't real....but it still made me scream....even just thinking about it now makes me feel sick.

I hate snakes.

I told Jill that if I see that snake again I won't be held accountable for what I do. It might just meet and axe and be chopped up in tiny bits (a snake experience from my childhood....now that's a good story). I haven't seen it since...but I know it's still around here.

Stupid snake.

I thought about adding a snake picture to this blog. Axed that idea. I hate snakes.