Allen was telling me about a funny conversation they had at our ward's Father-Son camp about funny things that people have said over the pulpit. I thought that might make a great website: Heard Over the Pulpit. Until I figure out how to build a website I figured it could make a good bunch of entries on our blog.
I thought this one was great: click here It is a story of someone who inadvertently insults the person that designed the Newport temple
So testimony meeting was wrapping up, and as is typical in the Singles Ward, we have been bombarded by recent move-ins who want to make themselves known. Well, this particular bug boy (term given to all summer sales people, regardless or what they are hawking) is obviously not too concerned with making friends. Keeping in mind that I live in the Newport Beach Stake, and that my ward meets at the chapel next to the temple, this is what this dude starts off his testimony with (summarized of course):"You know, the Newport Beach temple is not one of my favorite temples. (WTF?! Did he really just say that?) I mean it's nice and all, but I don't particularly like the architectural style or the location, or the color, etc (Note that this is the only pink temple I know of, and I think it is a fabulous)."He almost recovers by saying that it is not too important how the temple looks, but rather that we visit the temple frequently and that it is the House of the Lord. He then admits that he has not been in it yet, which was already apparent, because the inside is amazing.Anyway, so at this point he has probably already upset a good 1/3 of the ward which grew up in the area and obviously has a strong connection with the temple. He goes on for a couple more minutes about some other things and then concludes. The bishop is about to stand up and end the meeting, but then I see him sit back down. From the very back row of the overflow area comes a 14-year old kid who must have been visiting form out of town with his family.He stands up, and adds his short testimony that went something like this:"I want to bear my testimony that I love the Newport Beach temple and I think it is great because my grandpa designed it." He pauses, and then adds, "and he is sitting in the back row." The entire congregation bursts into laughter, which never quite died down until after the closing hymn. Fantastic. That is all I can say.
I thought the one on this blog was hilarious too.
This is one of them, since I wasn’t there I can’t vouch for its accuracy, but my wife’s friend claims she was in the audience. I am probably embellishing it for dramatic effect too. You have been warned. This might be the late-night comedy cousin to the faith-promoting rumor: the humor-promoting tale of dubious provenance.
A woman came up to the podium and thanked everyone for the recent support of the ward in her husband’s operation on his scrotum. He had been having trouble with his scrotum for a long time, it had been causing him pain and so they finally had it operated on. The woman thanked the ward for their concern about her husband’s scrotum and the care and love everyone displayed prior to, during, and after the surgery. Though the recovery was painful, the woman was happy to report that her husband’s scrotum was now as good as new.
Well, you could have heard a pin drop after that testimony. (Scrotum-imony?) So everyone heard the husband stomping up to the podium after his wife concluded her testimony. He bore what might be the briefest testimony ever borne in the history of the Church. He leaned into the microphone and enunciated with great irritation, “It was my sternum!”
And there's a REAL long thread of stories here.
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