Sunday Pleasures

This was how Jill and Peirce chose to commune with God today. Seems like a beautiful way to spend a Sunday!

Learning From a Master

I've been visiting the hospital almost every day over the break. There is an old lady (83!) in our ward who fell and broke her ankle. I figured over winter break I have nothing but time, so I volunteered to visit her on quite a few days. I've known her for a number of years. I have always enjoyed visiting with her because we have a lot in common. She loves to read and she was an elementary school teacher. She's always super smiley and has positive things to say. Today when I visited she got talking to the husband of a lady in her room. It was amazing to watch her work her magic on him. She engaged him in conversation and was super interested in learning about him. She would ask him questions and compliment him and smile and ask him more questions. It was something to watch! It really made me think about how I engage people in conversation. Her conversation was really positive and kind. That's the kind of person I want to be.

Day 87 He is Risen!

Every year, when this happens in my garden, it amazes me. Despite my poor gardening skills, despite the ravages of winter, and despite the neglect my garden receives from me, it comes back every spring. 

Easter is like that. Even though I am clearly imperfect, Jesus still loves me. It's a miracle and is as sure as Spring. Because he lives, even after dying so terribly, so will I. And so will you!

On judging.....

When I first read this story I was really focused on the siblings who are busy preparing gifts for their father. I wondered if I was like that: so caught up in my to do lists that I miss the real purpose of the pursuit. In many ways I am just like them. I need to not worry about my to do lists so much and focus on enjoying time with people around me more, for sure.

One day recently, I discovered I had someone who I thought really loved me (well, actually, if I were to ask that person they would vehemently declare their love, I am sure). The trouble is, apparently there are many things about me that are disappointing. I am apparently just not quite enough. Not good enough at cleaning my house. Not providing enough attention for this person. Not quite fun enough. Not quite conservative enough. Not fancy enough in my dress or my hairstyle. They use the words often, telling me that they love me. Apparently, though, their love for me is rather conditional. I could just be easier to love or they would like to spend time with me if only....

It took a toll on me for quite a while. One day, while I was walking, I was thinking about how sad and angry I felt about it all. My thoughts suddenly turned to this story. I realized that by focusing on those things, this person wasn't just being unkind, they were missing out. (There is much to appreciate about me!) But more than that, by focusing on my perceived inadequacies, they are missing out on recognizing God's hand in their own life. They are missing out on the sunshine. They are missing out on feeling God's love for people around them. Suddenly I didn't feel so bad for me anymore. I didn't feel angry. I actually felt sorry that they are not only so focused on negatives, but also missing out on the love God has to give. I no longer felt like I needed to straighten them out for their opinions about me. Instead I felt like the best thing I could do is not worry about it and instead show love. I am who I am. They are who they are....and what we, just like everyone else needs, is unconditional love. Not judgement.

The criticism wasn't just for me. It extended to those I love the most. My daughter is one of those people who truly do see the good in people. She is kind. She puts others ahead of herself. She is nice to those kids no one really seems to care about. Because of that, when people are critical of her it makes me a little crazy. She isn't perfect, but she is kind and loving - and surely that is more important than any weaknesses she may have. Put me down all you want. Once you start putting her down though, you have gone too far. I feel the same way about my son and my husband too. They are good men. They aren't perfect, but there is just so much about them that is to be appreciated and admired. To hear someone put them down gets my hackles up. (Yup. Don't mess with the Mama bear!)

This story is about an orphaned family who gets word they are going to be adopted. Their new adoptive father is a king! This is truly rare luck and they prepare for this great event as best they can. All the children prepare excellent gifts - except for one. She just doesn't have the talents the others have. She tries to learn, but it just doesn't work out. She, instead, worries that she won't have something good enough to offer.

The interesting thing is that although some of the children do not recognize him right away, he is patient and says that he will return and give them another chance to realize it is him. Yet in the meantime, they miss out on blessings they could immediately have. The story insinuates that they likely will, in time recognize their father. It made me think about how I don't want to waste any time. I would rather be living in a way that helps me recognize God in my life immediately. It is a great story.

I took this book to church the other day with plans to share it (isn't there always a picture book that makes every lesson just a little better?!) In the end, I didn't end up using it in my lesson. The interesting thing was during the next class I went to there was a perfect moment to share it. However, I didn't feel like I should ask to take over the lesson (could I just take 10 minutes and share this great story? Doesn't seem le a good idea when someone else is teaching). Instead I made a Book Creator video and publshed it.

Untitled from Dawn Ackroyd on Vimeo.

Interestingly, I think the Goodreads summary total has this book wrong. It says: 

One of the greatest gifts parents can give their children is the assurance that Mom and Dad love them just as they are, apart from anything that they do. But telling them once won't make it sink in

I really would disagree. That isn't at all what it is about!

Worship with Music

I taught Relief Society today. I decided to teach a lesson on worship through music. 

I heard a story in the news recently. It was about a little boy in the states somewhere who was kidnapped. He sang Amazing Grace non-stop. The kidnappers told him to stop and he just wouldn't. Eventually they freed him because they couldn't stand it anymore. Is that one of the powers of music?

I also takes about the baptism yesterday.  Mechac and one of the Sister missionaries sang I Stand All

Amazed while Mechac's played it on the guitar. The Bishop said it was like when you wallk into a room and see your child praying....so touching. It moves you. I totally agreed.

I have had some really good experiences with music. I took piano lessons for years and really enjoyed it (strange....I know). I also got to sing in the Keith Wood chorus at institute. That was a life changing experience for me. I loved it.

Singing in the MTC was also amazing. The power of hundreds of missionaries singing together leaves an indelible impression on one's mind and heart.

So why is it such a big part of our services? Sometimes it seems like it is a filler. I don't think so though. It is much more than that. We had a good discussion in the class today about the ways that music can touch your heart and help you.

We talked about the power of music. In my mission, Gene R Cook gave a talk about drawing on the powers of heaven. One of the ways to do that is through music. As a result, we were a singing mission - and sing we did....no matter how bad we were! It was a beautiful thing.

After the discussion I asked for volunteers to share their favorite hymn and why it was their favorite, and then we sang it. We ended up singing almost 10 hymns. I loved it. I hope the others there did too.

Zie's Baptism

Last night we went to a baptism for Mechac's friend, Zie. Today he was confirmed in sacrament meeting.

I was so impressed with this young man. He is very quiet. The feelings I had at the baptism and listening to his confirmation today were unique. My heart felt like it was glowing. I have no understanding of why I would feel this way. It was just a strong feeling of peace and admiration. I hope that he felt the same thing.

Highway Cleanup Day

Today was a day of service. Allen got the kids up I made a good breakfast. Off they went to clean the highway. They do this service as a fundraiser for all the camps and various activities that they do in the youth program at church.

Looks like fun!!

Why I Write

I have felt a little blue this week. It has been coming on for a while. Different pressures are weighing down on me. I feel discouraged about some things I don't know how to fix and don't really want to deal with. Logically, I realize isn't helping the situation.....but I can't seem to make myself fix it.

Then I decided to write about it.

Suddenly I feel such a relief. I feel a resurgence of energy. Maybe I can handle this!

That is why I write. It brings clarity. It helps me see possibilities. It helped me feel hopeful.

That is why I write. It is therapeutic! 

It is practically a miracle.

Canvassing

I spent the day in High River today. The province asked the church if they would canvas every house. They were concerned that there may be people who have been missed and may need help. It was quite an experience. Right off the bat, the first doors we knocked on, we talked with people whose eyes would quickly fill with tears. They were just so exhausted, overwhelmed, and grateful to have someone checking on them. It was quite humbling. We shared plenty of tears and plenty of hugs.

One of the houses we went to early in the day had this wedding dress hanging on their fence:




So heartbreaking.

You can see on these fences how high the water was:



By the end of the day I was totally exhausted physically and emotionally. There is a pervasive poo smell in High River. The mess left to clean up is absolutely overwhelming. We found a few people who definitely need help. Some didn't realize that they needed to take out their drywall. One lady hadn't done anything - she was waiting for her insurance company to respond. We let her know she must take action and her insurance policy will end up being void if she doesn't. Some houses had  clearly been abandoned and still had stuff tossed everywhere in the basement, and mud that was at least knee deep.

I'm so grateful to be able to help in some way.

Inspiring Old Friends

Tonight Allen and I attended our stake's High Priest dinner and fireside. Mmmmm! Chinese food! Love it!

Even better than the Chinese food thoug, they had Lynn Rosenvall speak about his research on the geography of the Book of Mormon.  I have heard him speak on this topic before and I especially love watching how animated and excited he gets about it. He knows so much and has done some amazing work. When I listen to him it find myself wanting to be a more dedicated student, not only of scriptures and doctrine, but many other things too.

President Rosenvall's son, David, was a friend of mine in University. David has accomplished some amazing things. He basically created the online scriptures that the church uses and is currently responsible for all things involved with technology in the church. I remember so well when he was working on electronic scriptures. Who would have thought that the church would totally adopt what he had created? It is amazing.

I am amazed at the things some of the people I know have accomplished. I remember Brother Bennion speaking once at the institute and he said that the people we were rubbing shoulders with then would become our life long friends and that we would look back on those days as the formative days of our life. I never could have imagined how true that could be.

Gardening and Improving

I'm a terrible gardener. I can't even be called a gardener. I'm more of a 'try something in a pot now and then' kind of gardener. And then it ends up like this:



This little chrysanthemum though has been a real trooper. It has a pretty good spot for light, but I keep forgetting to water it. Despite that, it persists in growing new flowers. I never toss it because it seems to always be having new buds:





Today I was thinking about how we are a little bit like this plant. Somehow God put in all of us the ability to overcome. Even when we forget to give ourselves the nutrients we need, we should never give up on progress. There is always hope!

Our lesson in Relief Society today was about improving. The teacher asked how we can make sure we aren't getting discouraged about our frailties, but instead, are getting better each day. I have really learned from my walking the past 10 months how fun it gets when you keep track of progress. I often think it isn't that my walking isn't that big a deal. But when I look at my progress on Daily Mile.com I realize how far I've come. I find doing 100 km a month now not that big a deal at all. It's just 5 or 6 km a day. Last August I did 90 km and it pretty much killed me. I'd go walking with Patti and then afterwards come home and have a nap. My feet hurt. My knees hurt. I was worn out. Now I do it, work all day, and come home and do all the family stuff too. It's crazy! It's also very motivating.

I've found the same thing is happening with the children in my class with reading. When I challenged them to read 10 chapter books by the end of the school year some of them thought that would be impossible. One in particular told me he really couldn't do that. However, in the last two weeks he's read a book each week. Each time he has come to me to let me know he's finished a book. He always shows me the book and asks me if it counts. It's funny that he asks because the books he has read are certainly ones that do count! Each time he acts a little surprised. I encourage him to go write them in his reading notebook and he goes off happily to do so. He's a real example of someone who I'm pretty sure doesn't believe he's a reader, but as he continues to record the books he's read, and as he works towards the goal, I think he's going to start to realize he is a great reader. It's very exciting!

I wonder if God feels as happy when he sees us accomplish the things we thought were too hard that he knows that we can do. My guess is he does.

Children

The other day I was having a conversation with a friend at work. She had mentioned that she has a sister that is some twenty years younger than her and so I asked her about that. It's quite unusual for people to have children that far apart in age. She said that her sister was born after she had left home to go to school. She said that her mother's friends and acquaintances weren't exactly excited or supportive of her in this pregnancy. Quite the opposite. She went on to talk about what a blessing it had been in her family to have young children around all the time. Whether it was her younger sister, or her own children, or her siblings children - but most of her life there were young children around her family. She said she has very little patience or empathy who people who have anything but positive words for the idea of having a child around. Her words really touched my heart and made me wonder if this is one of the little secret ingredients that makes our school such a great place - people here really love children.

I keep little reminders around for myself to keep those same thoughts. When Destiny was stillborn, and when I had another miscarriage, I remember having a strong desire to always be kind to children, especially my own. I loved this story at this past General Conference about a mom who had lost her child in a fabric store. She was getting more and more worried and calling loudly for her child. One lady had a thought that maybe the child was scared to come out listening to the fear in his mother's voice. She decided to walk around and call for the boy with a quiet voice, "Jason, it's okay to come out. Are you here?" She finally did find him in amongst the bolts of fabric. It really reminded me of my decision to go back to teaching and my desire to be kind.

Today at school one of my student's asked me why I decided to become a teacher. It was while I was in the middle of a reading rant, so I suspect he expected me to say I became a teacher because I love reading. That's part of it, I suppose. First I told him I'd answer that question later. Then I paused and said, "Do you really want to know?" Of course, everyone was up for a story then. So I told them about how I had always wanted to be a teacher because I pretty much always liked school, and so I went to University and became one. And I loved it. Then I had a baby that I was soooo crazy about and I just wanted to stay home and be a mom after that, but I did have different jobs here and there, and they were okay. But mostly I loved being a mom. Then I had another baby, and I wanted to keep being a mom because now I had TWO BABIES that I was really crazy about! Then I had another baby....and I told them that that baby died. (I really had everyone's attention then) I told them that I cried for about a year (they laughed at that, because it sounds ridiculous....little do they know), and then I decided I needed to do something different with my life. I thought and thought and thought and decided I would like to become a teacher again because I knew now that I really liked kids and really wanted to share with kids how important they are. So I looked and looked and looked around for a great place to work, and I found the school I'm working at. I made a resume and I took a deep breath and asked them if I could work there (I really wasn't willing to go just anywhere). And lucky for me, they decided to let me be a teacher again....and so now here I am, spending my days with kids that are great, and I learned that I REALLY love it!

And that's a true story.

I love kids. And I love teaching.

The other day another teacher came into my classroom and took a deep breath and said, "Ah! All is right in my world again now that you're all back." She was being funny. I totally agree with her sentiment! All is right in my world when I get to spend my days with kids in my class.

Yup. All is right in my world.




This is a picture Peirce drew of our family, two years after Destiny was stillborn. I was so touched that he included her in the picture, especially after it had been two years since she was silently born. She always will be a part of our family.

General Conference

This past weekend was General Conference. I try to always listen to all the sessions. This year I wasn't quite as attentive. I missed Saturday morning because Peirce and I went to Freckleface Strawberry. Normally I don't let anything get scheduled in the way of General Conference, but I've been a real poor calenderer lately, so these things happen.

In the afternoon session and on Sunday I just listened....didn't take notes. I've always taken notes! Not sure why I didn't - but I just listened this year. It seemed like the right way to experience conference this time.

It was once again, a great conference. On Sunday morning especially my heart burned as I listened to the speakers. I'm always amazed when that happens. I know what it's like to feel the spirit testify of truth, but now and then, when it's so apparent, it strikes me again how amazing that experience is.

I really look forward to those talks being in print so I can remember what it was that touched me so! All I know is the spirit was truly witnessing to me that what I was hearing was true. I just sat still and felt the feeling and marvelled at it.

So grateful.