The other day I was having a conversation with a friend at work. She had mentioned that she has a sister that is some twenty years younger than her and so I asked her about that. It's quite unusual for people to have children that far apart in age. She said that her sister was born after she had left home to go to school. She said that her mother's friends and acquaintances weren't exactly excited or supportive of her in this pregnancy. Quite the opposite. She went on to talk about what a blessing it had been in her family to have young children around all the time. Whether it was her younger sister, or her own children, or her siblings children - but most of her life there were young children around her family. She said she has very little patience or empathy who people who have anything but positive words for the idea of having a child around. Her words really touched my heart and made me wonder if this is one of the little secret ingredients that makes our school such a great place - people here really love children.
I keep little reminders around for myself to keep those same thoughts. When Destiny was stillborn, and when I had another miscarriage, I remember having a strong desire to always be kind to children, especially my own. I loved this story at this past General Conference about a mom who had lost her child in a fabric store. She was getting more and more worried and calling loudly for her child. One lady had a thought that maybe the child was scared to come out listening to the fear in his mother's voice. She decided to walk around and call for the boy with a quiet voice, "Jason, it's okay to come out. Are you here?" She finally did find him in amongst the bolts of fabric. It really reminded me of my decision to go back to teaching and my desire to be kind.
Today at school one of my student's asked me why I decided to become a teacher. It was while I was in the middle of a reading rant, so I suspect he expected me to say I became a teacher because I love reading. That's part of it, I suppose. First I told him I'd answer that question later. Then I paused and said, "Do you really want to know?" Of course, everyone was up for a story then. So I told them about how I had always wanted to be a teacher because I pretty much always liked school, and so I went to University and became one. And I loved it. Then I had a baby that I was soooo crazy about and I just wanted to stay home and be a mom after that, but I did have different jobs here and there, and they were okay. But mostly I loved being a mom. Then I had another baby, and I wanted to keep being a mom because now I had TWO BABIES that I was really crazy about! Then I had another baby....and I told them that that baby died. (I really had everyone's attention then) I told them that I cried for about a year (they laughed at that, because it sounds ridiculous....little do they know), and then I decided I needed to do something different with my life. I thought and thought and thought and decided I would like to become a teacher again because I knew now that I really liked kids and really wanted to share with kids how important they are. So I looked and looked and looked around for a great place to work, and I found the school I'm working at. I made a resume and I took a deep breath and asked them if I could work there (I really wasn't willing to go just anywhere). And lucky for me, they decided to let me be a teacher again....and so now here I am, spending my days with kids that are great, and I learned that I REALLY love it!
And that's a true story.
I love kids. And I love teaching.
The other day another teacher came into my classroom and took a deep breath and said, "Ah! All is right in my world again now that you're all back." She was being funny. I totally agree with her sentiment! All is right in my world when I get to spend my days with kids in my class.
Yup. All is right in my world.
This is a picture Peirce drew of our family, two years after Destiny was stillborn. I was so touched that he included her in the picture, especially after it had been two years since she was silently born. She always will be a part of our family.