Thursday, 7 November 2013

Sometimes School Stinks

I remember many a conversation when my husband and I became parents. We had no idea poo would be such a big part of parenting.

I had no idea it would be such a big part of teaching either.

Well, it's not always poo. Sometimes it's other bodily functions.

Pee: Kids pee their pants. More often than you want to know. Even in Gr. 3.

Poo: Sometimes kids just want to keep playing at recess, so they don't go to the bathroom soon enough. Sometimes that really backfires on them (no pun intended).

Sometimes the teacher has to help them with their messed up pants. Sometimes the poo falls out 'plop' right on the  floor. True story. Luckily that wasn't me!

Sometimes there are mystery poos. A few weeks ago one of my colleagues said she found a piece of poo in her room. No one would own up to it. It was a mystery poo that somehow got out of someone's pants.

Barf: A couple years ago one of my students arrived at school and his back pack was full of barf. We never figured out who did it. No one went home sick that day. No one had barf breath (I checked). It was mystery barf...and one messed up backpack. And the books. Oh the books!!

Then there are rotten lunches. I had a kid who brought his lunch to school every day in a grocery store bag. I guess his parents didn't bother checking to see what he ate. Sometimes he didn't drink the milk that got handed out to him. He just put it in his backpack - until one fateful day when all the food began to rot and stink to high heaven. We thought it was poo. It took a long time and a series of eliminations (Is it the snow pants? Maybe someone fell in poo without knowing....take out all the snow pants. Nope. Is it a jacket? Maybe it got on a jacket. Take out all the jackets. Nope. Room still smells like poo. Is it a back pack? Examine all the back packs. Nothing....until we come across it up and holy hell!! There it was)

These are the things they never tell you when you're in school to be a teacher.

Good thing. I might not have bought into the idea.

Yup. It's been a rough week.

1 comment:

Alysha said...

Hahaha I laughed so hard! I can only imagine!!